[Well, in fairness, The World According to Alfred Ashford very rarely makes sense to anyone...and when it comes to scripture whatnot, you're just going to have to deal with his lazy descriptions, man.]

I've never really cared for stories like that in the first place; if I'm going to be sent to Hell for what I do, then I wouldn't want Heaven to begin with.

But I suppose the excuses to celebrate inane things are acceptable. I don't know, that's never been anything I've done, either.